Children and devices: to ban or to use

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Here are the main reasons why we allow devices to end up in children's hands:

• Parents need to occupy the child so that he does not interfere or be capricious for some time in public places and at home.

• For learning and development with the help of special programs or online lessons.

• For communication with peers or relatives — well, how can you not call grandma, who lives 600 kilometers away?

• Everyone gives, and I will give. Are we worse than others?

Did you recognize yourself? If not, write about your motivation in the comments — it will be interesting to read.

The opinions of experts and ordinary people about the impact of devices on children range from “this is pure evil” to “modern life requires modern solutions”. But, of course, dividing everything into black and white is not quite correct. A rational approach is needed here.

Something from personal experience

I have two children: 7 and 11 years old. And I see how much games, TikTok and other social networks have captured the attention of both my children and their peers. Accidentally meeting on the street, instead of “hello, how are you” they start discussing Roblox.

I'll be honest: like any other parent, I have had, have, and undoubtedly will have days when it is impossible to give children enough attention — although I really want to okay, sometimes not really. At such moments, they spend more time with the phone or console than I would like. The consequences are immediately noticeable:

• Bad mood. It is difficult to switch from light entertainment content that flows into the child's head without any effort to real life. The one where you need to move, do homework, go outside or just read a book. The level of irritation grows as fast as the level of dopamine falls. You have to help children come up with interesting activities to distract them from the screens - sometimes it's quite a challenge.

• Schedule disruptions. Sometimes the desire to sit with the phone, play a game or chat with friends in my children is stronger than hunger, fatigue or a sense of responsibility. At such moments, you have to overcome their resistance to maintain the regime of work and rest, sports exercises and studies.

• Lack of live communication. My teenager doesn't play games very often. Instead, he spends all the allowed time communicating with peers. The need for communication at this age is a normal phenomenon. But it is sad that instead of walking in the fresh air, children lie on the couch and look at the screens, even if they live in neighboring entrances. And yes, they are fine with it.

• Fatigue. The younger child, on the contrary, communicates less on the network, but plays more games. Naturally, because of this, he quickly gets tired, often capricious. If more than 2.5 hours a day were spent on devices, this is generally a disaster.

On days when the use of smartphones in the family is minimized, the atmosphere in the house is definitely more comfortable. Any requests are perceived normally: to put the dishwasher, clean up in your room, and so on. Children show interest in communicating with each other and with their parents. My wife and I have a great time answering numerous questions, listening to their life stories or just having a joint dinner.

What helps us maintain a fragile balance:

1. Conversations. Without exaggeration, I have to explain to the children every day why "another half an hour" with the phone is not an option. Often these conversations drag on for 15–20–40 minutes, and you have to constantly repeat the same arguments. I just hope that they imprint on the subconscious and will work someday.

2. Setting an example. This is very difficult, especially when work is related to the phone and computer. I think the situation is even worse for freelancer parents. By agreement, we have periods free from electronics. For example, we have lunch together or go for a walk. Of course, overcoming the resistance of children and their sudden arguments. From the latest: "I will take the phone, but only because it has a camera. I want to observe the anthills and photograph different ants". In fact, insects, of course, remain without attention, the child tries to play on the go.

3. Clear routine. My children can no longer be called small, but what we have still sacredly honored in the family since infancy is the daily routine. It is almost impossible to convince me to let them sit in front of the TV or console until 11 pm on Friday, on a day off, or during spring break. The routine changes during the summer holidays, but during the school year, the children get up and go to bed at the same time. Parents know why a child who has not had enough sleep and has spent too much time with the tablet turns into a little devil.

4. Sports. We have an agreement in the family: children choose their clubs to their liking, at least one type. It can be changed once a year — in September, when enrollment in sports sections takes place. We, as parents, do not influence this choice. At the same time, a chess club, music school, or theater studio is not considered a sport. But football, rock climbing, tennis, dancing, and so on are. Two or three full hours a week, when a child actively moves and learns to control their body, is not that much, actually. But this time coolly pulls attention away from devices to real life.

5. Giving concessions. If the child behaved well (I don't like this phrase, but it is what it is), their room is clean, they did their homework and helped around the house, we give them extra screen time. This does not mean that they can use electronics uncontrollably. Rather, it is an additional half an hour. After all, each of us wants to lie in bed with the phone for a few minutes, just because you are a good and hardworking person.

Expert Opinion

Personal experience is clear. Now let's see what scientists, psychologists, and other experts say.

The Benefits of Devices for Children

When used correctly and under parental supervision, mobile devices can become a useful additional tool in the following cases:

1. As a support for learning foreign languages. There are dozens of applications that can be used as a digital teacher. For example, Duolingo or Lingualeo.

2. Online courses and educational videos help to learn complex school material and other information faster and more interestingly.

3. Educational games on the tablet stimulate logical thinking, creativity, memory, and creativity.

4. In mastering IT, of course. Here, devices are indispensable. A colleague has already written in this blog about games that introduce children to programming.

Of course, a child can develop fully without using electronic devices. But in the modern world, devices have become an integral part of life, and every schoolchild will sooner or later have to master the internet, mobile applications, and social networks — unless, of course, you want to repeat the experience of Captain Fantastic. The ability to work with touch screens, understand program interfaces, and independently search for information are important skills necessary for adaptation in the digital society.

Negative Impact of Devices

This is talked about a lot, and not without reason. According to WHO, 11% of teenagers are unable to control their smartphone use. Electronic devices have caused physical, psychological, and cognitive health problems. Here are the most serious ones.

Information Overload and Mental Fatigue. When a child uses a device, their brain is loaded, receiving dozens and thousands of notifications. The result is that children do not rest, even if they are just lying on the couch with a smartphone. While the body remains motionless, the brain works, and fatigue accumulates.

The constant stream of information from devices forces constant task switching. This reduces data processing efficiency and leads to mental fatigue. According to Harvard University, multitasking caused by smartphone use reduces productivity by 40% and can negatively affect brain areas responsible for self-control and planning.

Mirror effect. Social networks, games, and videos create idealized pictures of life that contrast with reality. In children, this leads to self-esteem issues, a conflict between "expectation and reality," and the development of a consumer attitude towards the world.

Speech and socialization. Speech development, the ability to build arguments, maintain dialogue, and recognize non-verbal body signals are practiced through live communication with different people. A child's social development suffers if interaction with peers occurs only through "digital means."

Reduced cognitive flexibility. Most screen games have a specific algorithm, usually linear — the child needs to perform many repetitive actions to achieve a result. As a result, the person gets used to "digital chewing gum" and is less oriented in the real world. This can even lower the child's social status among peers.

Dopamine addiction. To get pleasant emotions, a child just needs to open TikTok and start watching videos with funny cats. In real life, positive impressions need to be, so to speak, sought. For example, go outside and walk with friends, create a beautiful craft, or ride a bike. This takes more time and — oh, horror! — requires more effort.

What experts recommend

Calmly: doctors and psychologists do not demonize devices exhale. Phones, computers, and tablets are part of our lives, and that won't change. In the last century (I was there, Gandalf. I was there 3,000 years ago!) for many of us, the TV and the landline phone also played a huge role. "DuckTales" on Sundays was happiness. It was extremely unpleasant when they were replaced by "Play, Accordion" or something similar. But the problem is that now there is too much electronics, and it can negatively affect our lives.

Here's how experts suggest dealing with it:

• Limit device usage time according to the child's age: from 2 to 5 years old - no more than 1 hour a day, school-age children up to 12 years old - no more than 2-3 hours a day, teenagers - by agreement. The general recommendation of specialists is the less, the better.

• Teach the child to choose quality content and control the information they consume. To do this, you can spend time with the child on devices, and use digital parental control tools.

• Monitor the child's physical health. It is important to control posture and the distance between the eyes and the screen of the phone or tablet. It is useful to take breaks for the eyes every 20 minutes. This will not only reduce eye strain but also switch the child's brain to other things.

• Teach the child safe behavior online. It is important that, as they grow up, children learn to filter the information they receive from the internet, avoid communicating with strangers, and not share personal data.

• Be an example for children. You can't expect younger family members to be responsible with devices if you don't put your phone down yourself.

The topic of children and devices is complex and controversial. But parents will definitely need a lot of patience. Write what you think about this and what rules are set in your families.